He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
Isaiah 53:2 NIV
Ok so I would be the first to admit this an odd way to start an insight into love but stay with me.
Curate:/ to select, organize and present
I would make the argument that curation, most particularly (but not exclusively) curation of our image in all its forms (Facebook, Instagram, snapchat, LinkedIn etc) has become a primary form of social misdirection. Like a magicians trick designed to seem related to the truth yet in point of fact it is specifically designed to distract from the actual truth.
Let me state at the outset that I have no general issue with social media, I’m on it, I use it, and with my family spread over the globe I enjoy it’s capacity to connect over distance. My concern is over the ease of its ability to facilitate a crafted, projected, unreality of ourselves. That is not the responsibility of the technology, that is on us.
Why should it matter? Because love does not curate. It is neither selective of those we are called to love nor does it encourage us to present ourselves other than we are in order to receive or be worthy of it.
When we are selective in our presentation of ourselves, when we actively obscure reality by inclusion or omission toward the face we present to others, we are untrue. Untrue with ourselves, and untrue with those around us. It is something beyond “putting our best foot forward”.
Moreover in order for this curation of image, this facade, to be effective we must carry it with us into the real world, and that demands in some way we be false. And how then can we expect others to be true with us if we are being contrived with them? Isaiah’s description of Jesus makes it abundantly clear that he never pretended to be anything other than what he was. He was always true.
We have always had this ability to curate to some degree. There are any number of married couples who would acknowledge that the person they got to know before marriage bore little resemblance to the one after. This occurs when we spend insufficient time getting to know the other person prior to marriage and when one or both of us are heavily curating our image. Some marriages survive the disparity in expectation, many do not. Obfuscation does not further the cause of love. It delays the inevitable and can create a rift of mistrust once revealed. Better to embrace reality early.
Love does not curate. It may want more for you, but it loves you as you are and it requires that you allow yourself be loved and valued in that same way. We see this in virtually every relationship Jesus has. Almost none of the people he relates to are what we might call socially acceptable.
And this is not only true of us as individuals. Many companies, have taken to managing their image so carefully, with every photo carefully vetted for imperfection, every person contained therein for an underlying reason. All communication crafted for effect, withholding as much as they are communicating. In this regard it is important for us to remember that churches are not businesses. When we buy into a projected image, we perpetuate the problem.
It can be difficult, church to allow the world to see the real you, the real us, but we as a people need to more transparent in our giving and receiving of love. In our communication and representation of ourselves. Love stands on its own, it does not ask us to curate others or ourselves on its behalf. If we make a more concerted effort to be real, we in turn make it possible for others to do also.
Love does not curate. This single idea can change the world church. It’s who Christ was, it’s who we are called to be. As we head into the new year let’s make this part of our very core.
Standing with you in love
Stephen Hickson